SB email Revamped
by KutchipatchiROCK
Summary: Its about time I updated this. I'm still alive, guys!
1. Default Chapter

Yo, yo! It's me Kutchipatchi! Rock! Or I think....

Disclaimer: I do not own Hamtaro or SB emails. I am not Ritsuko Kawai or the brothers Chapman. I am not even a guy. I'm a girl.

We skip to a humble little pet cage, with, oddly, a little desk. On top of that desk was a little teeny sized computer. Small. Fit for (you guessed it) a hamster.

::Ham-ham clubhouse::

Today at the clubhouse, the hams decided to have a seed eating contest. But as they saw Oxnard getting pumped up for it, all of them decided not to take part. So the only contestant was our favorite gray-fat-oversized-friend-of-hamtaro-coughnotcough hamster.

After the contest....

"Wow that was a great win!" (A/N aw come on, you know who won, there was only one contestant, stupid!) Boss said as he cleaned up the seeds, "but so much crumbs to clean...." Hamtaro started to speak, "I think you ate soo much seeds really well!" But Oxnard couldn't speak."Mpff"

"And the prize is... a computer!" shouted Howdy.

"ACK! Speaking of computer, I got to check my e-mail!" yelled Sandy as she ran home.

::Cut to Sandy's cage::

(Everything is Sandy talking unless it is noted otherwise or in quotation marks, or italics, which is narration)

Let's see if I got any e-mail!

(A/N: Alright, let's start with one of my favorites!)

Hm... Oh I got a hit!

_This is what it said:_

_Dear Sandy, _

_Do you take off you're tail w/ ribbon off when you go to bed?_

_From, _

_Ann, OR _(A/N: going to change the names)

(Sandy typing) Well, Ann, that's a stupid question, do you take off your butt when you go to bed? Are you some kind of super bendable human who can do that? Maybe we can join forces. I happen to be a pretty good gymnast, you know. (Stops typing)

Pretty good for my first email. I hope I get more so I can answer more. YAY!

------------------

Good so far? If you haven't guessed already, these are parodies of the ever so famous Strong Bad emails. If you haven't seen the SB emails already, this fic might be a bit confusing.


	2. Everybody to da Limit!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hamtaro, or SB emails.

Okay, this second chapter is going to be a parody of a legendary SB email.

Here we go.

--------------------------------

Bada bada! Time to check my, like, email!

_It said:_

_I love u_

_-fhqwhgadshgnsdhjsdbkhsdabkfabkveybvku_

(Sandy Typing)

Look Fhqwhgadsdsh... Can I call you fhqwgads? Sorry, but it doesn't work like that. 1. I already have a boyfriend, 2.I don't know you, 3. You're probably a human. Plus, your name is, like, the size of Oxnard's stomach. In the time that I said your name, I could have painted a picture of a hamster...Eating a picture of a guy... Holding a knife.... In fact, I'm going to do that now!

::Shows Sandy painting a picture of a hamster eating a picture of a guy holding a knife::

Hmm... Could use a little bit more shading... I don't know.

::Art faire 2005::

_...And the winner of our art faire and the prize of $100,000...and a car... is... Sandy the hamster?!? "_Oh no, she's checking her email." said Stan in the audience, "I'll take it!" _Very well, you may have the money! And the car!_

_----------------------------------------_

Sorry this chapter was so short.

I will update Mondays,

and you can ask your own question in your review if you want,

but these will mostly be parodies of Strong Bad Email.

R&R!

_Come on, fhqwgads, come on fhqwgads!_

_Everybody to the limit, Everybody to the limit!_


	3. Loony

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is not mine. If it's not mine, do you think I would own it? Duh no. So let's move on.

Wow! This one had a lot of flames! (Ok, 2, but still) Let me just explain something. About flaming my story and about flaming overall. No matter what you say, dude, I'm NOT copying. 1. Ever notice disclaimers? 2. This place is where fans write stories about what they like. I like homestarrunner. Makes since. No one is 'copying' anything on this website. Actually, some people take their own free time to insult peoples work, and I don't see no Simon Cowell around here. 25 of people that flame probably don't even read the story they flame, they just don't like the subject, don't like the author, or are just crazy XD. If you don't like a fic, don't review it! Good to get that out of my system.

Review replies-

Katychan- How do write so long reviews? And find so many compliments to go with it? Always the first to review my stories. I won't write a song about you like _some_one, (No offence to the person who did XDXDXD) but I will give you a cookie. An online, artificial cookie. here.

Moochie- Glad ya like it. Guess what! There's a new TGS out! (Squeal)

Yayfulblahyournameisalmostascomplicatedasmine (yayfulness) - glad ya like it

Sum dude-glad you like it!

ASEHamugirl- So... Are you insulting me or complementing me? Hope not insulting.

Absh- Actually, not random. These are really parodies. It seems random to most. Andomray. Igpay atinlay. DXay. XDDDDDD

Ciana- Cute? Moi's stories? (Sparkly eyes)

Sprite-thing-corner-blah- I just love getting reviews, I do I do. Thankies for reviewing all of them. You're the first one to know who that hamster in the poem was. And, yes, I do change my name a lot. Didja know there's a new TGS out?

Glad ya like tit to the rest of ya. Sorry I couldn't reply (Toolazy)

'Aight, here we go.

-

(Sandy walks in)

Whoo... Hilary has some kind of cat. And it's big.

Oh yeah, my email! It's time, like to totally, like check my, like like like like...

(2 hours later!)

Like email!

_It said:_

_Dear sandy,_

_What would happen if you gave boss caffeine?_

_Stephanie, _

_New York_

Well, Stephanie, I don't know. But I'm scared to see the results. He might go on a killing spree, he might like, rape Bijou (A/N: Alright, lemme just turn this to PG-13...), or he might eat Panda. I'm, like, getting scared thinking about it. Here's my full description.

**:Plan A- Give Boss Caffeine:**

_Materials- _

_Boss's seed_

_Coffee_

_Notebook (For notes)_

_De-Caffinizer_

_Straight jacket_

_One of Penelope's Blankets_

_Steps-_

_Put some of the coffee into Boss's seed, but so it doesn't show._

_Give seed to Boss_

_Watch him eat. (Eeewwww)_

_Take notes on newfound behavior, watch in funniness._

_-After enough of it-_

_Shoot him with the de-caffinizer, and pull him in the straight jacket, then wrap him in the blanket._

_Throw him in the loony bin, and don't take him out for 57 days._

Alright, here I go.

(The following is Sandy's notes)

: Clubhouse :

Heyyy Boss!

-2 minutes later-

"Aaaahhh! Boss is on a killing spree!" Shouts came from a lot of ham-hams. "Aaahhh! He's eating me!" Even snoozer! "Boss! zuzu STOP zuzu IT!" And then, a loud shot was heard, BANG and everything was blackened out, and silent.

(Not notes)

And so, then, the subject was dead.

(Ham-hams gasp)

"I am not dead! Get me out of this blanket!"

So we come to one conclusion...

Boss is not a real ham-ham.

(They gasp again)

"I am so! Get me out of this blanket, Sandy!"

:Back to a cage:

(Typing)

So Stephanie, that is what happens when you give Boss caffeine. I, personally, think it is not such a bad idea. I mean, he ate Panda! Okay, just his ear, but still! We better not be giving him anymore. Good thing he's locked in that bin. Think if we gave Stan caffeine. Huugh. Better not.

: Cut to see a bin marked "loony":

"Hello? Hamtaro? Bijou? Anyone? I'm hungry. Anyone got a seed? Hello? Please? I want my mommy. Maybe Sandy's right. I don't deserve to be a ham-ham. (A/N: Awww... Poor Boss) I want cheese."

-

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KutchipatchiROCK (Maybe)


	4. Wind

Disclaimer: want pie now.

I just came back from my valentines dance. I'm never having that much sugar again. He he... I started the conga line. XD

Happy ham: Yes, yes, thank you for reminding me of this. I absolutely can NOT parody SB without his favorite word. But, I do not want to disappoint some fans with this "cussing" going on in the story, so here it is from me: Holy Crap.

Katychan: Still hyper. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Moochie: Again, sooo glad you like this. That PQ trailer is da bomb. Real-life action!

-

Time for email!

_It said:_

_Dear Sandy,_

_I think Jingle is kind of weird. I mean what's the deal?_

_Could you interview him or sompin, because he creeps_

_me out._

_-KutchipatchiROCK_

Well authoress- I mean Kutchipatchi, I think Jingle is weird, too. I mean a hamster with a Mohawk! That's just plain weird. I'll bring my clipboard and try to get an interview.

_Walks away holding a bright orange clipboard..._

: Some place with acorn in its name:

(There's too many!)

"Hello?"

Walking in a forest thing, Sandy heard some music strummed on an ironically formed hamster sized guitar. It's weird, man! So is his Mohawk.

"The wind is like a bird. It flies smoothly."

"Ah! There he is."

"Welcome to my home! Hambaro, isn't it?"

"It's Sandy."

"You changed your name again? That's cool."

"Um, no, it was Sandy like, from the beginning."

"Oh! You say it's _Sandy_. You changed your name here, right here on the spot! Changing your name over and over is cool."

"Okay... So, why do you have that mowhawk?"

"It helps me go... To and fro... Like the wind."

"What's with all these wind sayings?

"I don't know. It helps me grow. Like the wind.

"I'm just going to go now."

"Ok bye Ham and eggs!"

"Censored"

: Home sweet cage :

So Kutchipatchi, I figured that that guy is too weird to talk to fully. And that you should stay away from him. Except you can't, because we are in a TV show, so like, yeah. That wind thing was totally creepy. (Shudder)

-

Stan was watching. "We're in a TV show? My life is a JOKE!11one1 (sniffle)"

-

Too short.

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KutchipatchiROCK (maybe)


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